I hate that I love you so much
by SaturnalianxLockdown
Summary: Sasuke always acts tough and cold towards others but do they know the reason why?   Sakura loves Sasuke with all her heart but now, she's given up. What will happen when the two meets and a misunderstanding surfaces causing Sakura to move on.


Hello. Sya's the name and this will be my first fanfiction, so please be nice and I'd appreciate if you'll leave a review. All characters belong to Masashi Kishimoto except for this story plot which is _mine__._ SOOO let's start ! :

First Chapter : We meet again.

I walk alone this path of memories. I am a doll, my soul does not reside in this shell, my emotions, are all gone. I am nothing but a lifeless wondering spirit now but most see me as a broken doll. I am a glass child, I do not feel any emotions running through myself for, I have throwned all of that away. The day he left was the day I would change myself. I would follow in his steps and gain strength and overcome all obstacles but I wasn't as cold and heartless as he. I still have warmth and love big enough to show for my friends, no matter how cold I try to be, in the end. I'm still the same.

Everytime I would wish upon the stars that our path would cross again, that maybe one day I would be strong enough to bring him back that God would lend me the strength to hopefully move on and forget him. None of the wish was granted but I can't help and notice myself staring at the picture of what our team used to be, Team 7. There were plenty of happy memories even with that cold icy bastard, I have to admit. He was my everything, my first crush, my first real love, my first heartbreak. All of that is going to change, well that is what I told myself but only God would know what will happen in the future, of the path I'm walking on.

I am Haruno Sakura, and this is my lifelong struggle of love and true strength in life.

A black spiral-shaped tattoo decorated itself on my left arm as I got dressed into my comfortable outfit. Today, I was given an off-day from missions and to simply enjoy life. I can't help but give a small smile and trace the shape with my forefinger. Finally after training under Tsunade-shishou for almost 4 years I have achieved the title of Head Anbu Captain and leader of all medic-nins at Konohagakure Hospital. Among those years of training I had gain my shishou's monsterous strength as well as her commanding ways to others. I have perfect chakra control and at the same intelligence with Shikamaru. Not only that but I had even came out with my own personal attack called the "blossoming sakura" with the help of Naruto since my attack was based on his Rasengan.

I felt like I should be proud of myself but I feel something missing, right, he wasn't there to watch me grow. He wasn't there to see how strong I had gotten and acknowledge it. I have no rights to feel proud nor happy now because all the things I do has always have somethings to do with him. I sighed and walked and walked till I reached the outskirts of Konoha and sat down under a Sakura tree that seems to be blossoming.

Sakura petals flutter about and danced along with the spring breeze, I laid down on the soft grass as I looked at the white clouds floating about and moving slowly in the sky as I was lulled to sleep. I finally closed my eyes and let my tiredness get the better of me.

I was sitting in a sakura tree looking at the place of what used to be my old home, Konoha. It's just a few miles away but I can't bring myself to go back. Not after all the sins I have done, even nearly killed Naruto-baka and even her during our last encounter. Her, what was her name? I looked at the Sakura tree and saw an image of her face fading into the tree, Sakura ... Haruno... The girl who tooked my heart and engraved her name in it. Yup, that's her. I can never show anyone my weakness so I had to cover this feeling away from her and everyone else. Heck, I don't even know what this feeling is, everytime I look at her, her smile is so light and warm, her voice so soothing like the waves calling out in the ocean, her eyes. Oh how I love her eyes, they would always show her hidden emotions and her unusual pink hair, I find it unique and no one knows but I really love the color bubblegum pink on her hair, it shows more of her femininity and gentleness. It's crazy but true that I think I might have just fallen deeply for her but because of my vengeance I ignored it and left her.

It hurt me the day that I decided to leave and to make matters worse she saw me as I was leaving the village and tried to stop me. I quickly put on a much more cold attitude and began to become harsh and mean to her, my heart felt like it was being stabbed when she kept crying begging me to stay.

"Sakura, shut up and leave me alone. Don't cry for me, you seem much more annoying then you alrady are when you cry".

What I really meant by that in my heart was : Sakura, please don't cry it hurts me to see tears falling from your beautiful eyes because I'm the reason for that, please go back and sleep and forget me because I'm not good enough for you.

"NO SASUKE! Can't you see how much I love you? I would do anything for you so please, JUST STAY WITH ME!" Sakura cried louder then before that anyone would be awake and find the rackus, I had no choice but in a swift movement, I was behind her and knocked her out only the last two words spoken "Thank you" before I left her on a bench and left with a gentle kiss on her lip as my only memory.

I had given her my first kiss and I had wished she would always be mine forever and after I have killed Orochimaru and my brother I would come back for her. I prayed to God to look after her and keep her from harms way but it seems I am the harm to her and everytime I see her it hurts to lie and act as though I don't care for her but I must keep up with this facade in order to keep her safe.

I looked at a sakura petal floating in front of me and slowly landing to a ground on top of silky pink hair, wait pink. It couldn't be her, can it? I jumped down from the tree as softly as I could and tiptoed to her quietly, it is her. She was sleeping under this tree all along, she seemed more beautiful then ever, she developed curves in all the right places and her face looked so angelic when she's asleep, her lips look so pink and plump that I feel like kissing her again just to remember how her lips felt on mine. I quickly pushed that thought away as she began to move around, I heard her say

"Sasuke, don't leave me... I love you..."

I smirked, even after all this years she still does love me. I felt happy, I took off my large shirt and placed it on her and looked to her body again, she looks so delicate and fragile that she may break at any time. I moved my vision back to her face when I see bright green orbs staring into my black obsidian orbs. I stiffened and smiled as I gently knocked her out before she can say anything and left. I didn't want to leave but I had to incase she decided to report me and have Anbus chasing me all around Konoha, it pains me to leave but I must and that was what I did. Till we meet again, my cherry blossom ...

First chapter done ! What do you guys think? : hehe. Till the next chapter. SAYONARA~! /waves hands and bows.


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